One effective method of probing is to ask open-ended questions, such as:
- “Could you clarify that for me?”
- “Can you provide a specific example of what you mean?”
- “What do you think we should do next?”
However, be cautious not to overwhelm the other person with too many probing questions, as this can make them feel like they are being interrogated. Be mindful of the quantity and nature of your inquiries.
Another effective probing technique is to simply pause. Stop speaking and allow the other person to fill the silence.
A third approach involves using reflective or mirroring questions. For instance, if someone says, “What I really want is more variety in my work,” you might respond with, “Variety?” This technique often elicits a more detailed response without requiring additional questions. It works best when paired with a pause.
Reflective questions or statements help clarify and summarize without interrupting the conversation flow. They demonstrate your intention to understand the speaker’s thoughts and feelings.
A fourth technique is paraphrasing what the individual has just said in your own words. For example, you could say, “So if I understand you correctly, you…” This response shows that you are working to improve your understanding of their message. It also enables the speaker to hear their own words reflected back to them, reassuring them that you are genuinely trying to comprehend their perspective.
Finally, as a conversation nears its conclusion, you can use a summary question. For instance: “You’ve tried ignoring the scent of your colleague’s cologne, discussed how it affects your allergies, and attempted to keep your door closed to block the scent. None of these strategies has worked, and now you’re asking for my help. Is that correct?”
These five probes can be arranged like this:
- Open questions (provide lots of information)
- Pauses (Give the other person an opportunity to respond)
- Reflective Statement (Give the other person another opportunity to respond)
- Summary probes (Wind down probing)
- Fact finding or closed questions (to wrap up the conversation)
