The Basic Formula

Here is a basic formula for any difficult conversation:

Step One: Choose the Right Time and Place

Selecting an appropriate time and setting for giving feedback is essential. Always request a private meeting with the employee when they have some availability. However, make sure to address the issue promptly once you are aware of it.

Invite the employee into your office or a private meeting room, ask them to take a seat, close the door, and sit down yourself.

Step Two: Start with a Sensitive Opener

The employee will likely sense that something is amiss, so avoid unnecessary small talk. Use your opening remarks to prepare them for the conversation, seek permission for the feedback, and indicate what the discussion will entail.

Example: “Robin, I need to discuss a sensitive issue regarding your hygiene that has been brought to my attention, and I would appreciate your assistance in resolving it. This conversation will remain confidential; I won’t disclose anything without your consent. Do you have a few moments to talk about this?”

Step Three: Describe the Observations

Next, address the issue in objective terms. Refrain from making jokes or using negative descriptors. Be honest about your feelings—whether concerned or uncomfortable—while maintaining respect.

Example: “I’m worried about your well-being, and some colleagues have expressed their concerns as well. This is a bit difficult for me to discuss, so I’ll be direct: we’ve noticed an unpleasant odour near your cubicle and some stains on your chair.”

Step Four: Discuss the Impact

In this part of the conversation, explain how the issue affects the individual’s professional reputation and workplace environment.

Example: “I’m concerned that this situation may impact your image as a professional salesperson, both in the eyes of your colleagues and your clients.”

 

Step Five: Offer Solutions

Wrap up the conversation with suggestions for addressing the issue. The specific actions will vary based on the problem at hand, so examples will be provided later. Conclude with an open-ended question to invite their input.

Example: “I’d appreciate your help in resolving this matter. If this is related to a medical condition, I don’t need specifics, but we can collaborate with Human Resources to find a solution. If it’s a hygiene issue, I’d like to brainstorm potential solutions together. Does that sound reasonable to you?” You can then work collaboratively with the employee to address the problem. We will explore practical solutions for common issues later in the workshop.

Getting the Facts

Before you discuss personal matters with employees, make sure that you’re prepared! You should familiarize yourself with the following information. Always have it on hand when speaking with an employee and stay on top of updates.

• Dress and hygiene code, if your company has one
• Union or legal requirements for discussing sensitive topics with employees (such as disabilities or dress-code violations)
• Policy on when to send an employee home and whether this leave is paid or non-paid
• Policies on medical leave and confidentiality
• Scents policy
• Your level of authority to issue written warnings, send employees home, and terminate staff, and who else needs to be involved in each situation