One thing most people do is make a lot of assumptions about the people they come into contact with. Team members often assume they have interpreted others’ comments correctly, and they assume that others understand perfectly what they are trying to say. They also assume that others will react to different situations in the same way as they themselves would.
Listening Skills
Two of the most essential communication skills are listening and asking questions.
Effective listening is vital for building strong teams. There’s a saying: “We have two ears and one mouth so we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
Active listening involves striving to understand the speaker’s perspective. It means acknowledging that we are engaged and that we comprehend what is being communicated. This goes beyond mere hearing, which is a physical process where sound waves reach our ears and are processed by the brain. Active listening represents an approach focused on achieving shared understanding.
When we commit to listening for complete meaning, we pay attention not only to the content of the message but also to the underlying emotions. Is the speaker feeling happy, angry, excited, sad, or something else entirely? This deeper level of engagement enhances our communication and strengthens team dynamics.
Responding to emotions
While the words spoken in a conversation are important, the emotions behind those words bring deeper meaning to the message. Acknowledging and responding to the speaker’s feelings adds a valuable layer to effective listening. Are they expressing anger and disgust, or perhaps they are filled with love and excitement? There may even be a sense of ambivalence. Recognizing these emotions allows you to engage more meaningfully in the conversation.
Observing non-verbal cue
Truly listening involves being acutely aware of the non-verbal elements of communication. These cues can provide significant insights into how the speaker is feeling. Consider the following:
- Facial expressions: what emotions are reflected in the speaker’s face? Are they smiling, frowning, or showing signs of distress?
- Hand gestures: are their hands animated, or are they clenched? This can indicate their level of engagement or discomfort.
- Posture: how is the speaker positioned? Are they leaning forward, which might suggest interest, or leaning back, indicating disengagement?
- Vocal tone: is their voice loud, shaky, or steady? Changes in tone can indicate confidence or uncertainty.
- Emphasis on points: are they stressing specific words or ideas? This can highlight what they consider important.
- Speech patterns: are they mumbling or struggling to find the right words? This may suggest hesitation or discomfort.
Demonstrating engagement
When you actively listen to someone, utilizing certain techniques can signal to the speaker that you are attentive and engaged. Here are some effective strategies:
- Physical indicators: make consistent eye contact to show you are focused. Nodding occasionally can signal understanding, and leaning slightly forward demonstrates interest in the conversation.
- Verbal cues: use phrases such as “uh-huh,” “go on,” “really!” And “then what?” These expressions encourage the speaker to continue and show that you are engaged in what they are saying.
- Clarifying questions: ask questions for clarification or to summarize what has been said. Examples include:
- “are you saying they were charging $4.00 for just a cup of coffee?”
- “so after you took a cab, arrived at the store, and found the right sales clerk, what happened next?”
By incorporating these techniques into your listening practice, you not only enhance your understanding of the speaker’s message but also foster a stronger connection between both parties. This approach enriches the conversation and creates a more supportive environment for open communication.
