Work through the conflict described below, using the following resolution strategy.

Scenario: You are both on the same project team and have won the President’s Award for bringing your project in on time and under budget. The prize is an all-expenses paid trip anywhere in the world for the two of you and one guest of your choice each. There is no conflict regarding the dates of travel. The conflict is over the destination, as you both must have the same destination and you disagree on where to go.

Phase One: Identify the Problem (Use Color 1)

  • Tape a sheet of flip chart paper to the wall.
  • Write the overall problem (statement of conflict) on a sticky note. Place it on the flip chart.
  • Have Person 1 relate his/her stated position without providing the reasons for the position. The other person should practice active listening. When they fully understand the problem from the other person’s point of view, they should write it on a sticky note and place it below and to the left of the statement of conflict note.
  • Then, switch roles and repeat this process.
  • Identify areas of agreement. Write these on sticky notes and place them between the two positions. Is there an obvious solution that satisfies both parties? If so, the conflict is resolved. If not, proceed.
  • Identify areas of disagreement. Place these sticky notes underneath the statements of conflict.

Phase Two: Identify the Common Goal (Use Color 2)

  • Define a common goal that both parties share which overrides the present conflict. (Examples: solving the problem in a way that maintains the relationship.)
  • Write the goal on a sticky note and place it on the top of the chart above the statement of the problem.
  • Do a process and content check: is the conflict defined too broadly? Too narrowly? Is there an obvious solution? If so, the conflict is resolved.
  • Does each person feel heard/listened to at this point? Does each person feel his/her position is being taken seriously?

Phase Three: Identify and Rate Underlying Needs (Use Color 3)

  • Person 2 should ask Person 1 what his/her needs are. Each need should be written on a sticky note and placed underneath the stated problem.
  • Person 1 should rate his/her needs, using a 1-10 scale, with 10 being a very high-level need and 1 being a minimal need.
  • Switch roles and repeat these steps.
  • Identify needs that both parties have in common. Write these between the two columns.
  • Test if there is a possible win/win solution.
  • Do a process and content check. Is the conflict defined properly, or is something else really in conflict and the statement is just symptomatic of it? Revise the statement of conflict if necessary. Does each person feel listened to? Validated?

Phase Four: Explore Assumptions (Use Color 4)

  • Brainstorm the assumptions driving each person’s position or needs. The other person should ask and record. Do not challenge assumptions during the brainstorming process. Just write them down.
  • Each person can offer any assumptions he/ she thinks the other person may hold. These can only be added if the other person agrees.
  • If there are facts or data to challenge an assumption, discuss the facts or data and the person’s assumption. The sticky note can only be changed if the person agrees.
  • Check the assumptions to see if there are any themes. If there are, record these on sticky notes.
  • Test if there is a possible win/win solution.
    • Do a process and content check: Is the conflict defined properly or is there something else that is really in conflict and the statement of conflict is just a symptom of something else that is going on. Revise the statement of conflict if necessary. Have all the key assumptions surfaced? Does each person feel listened to? Validated?

Phase Five: Brainstorm Solutions and Choose One (Color 5)

  • Brainstorm potential solutions. Write each idea on a sticky note, with no judgment. Generate ideas that might challenge the basic assumptions that are driving the needs and therefore positions.
  • Check brainstormed solutions against common goals and each person’s most important needs. (You can use a decision matrix to make the comparisons. Substitute needs with their ratings for the decision criteria and weights.)
  • Choose a solution. Make sure the solution meets both parties’ highly rated needs. Check that the potential solution satisfies the common goal.
  • Develop an implementation plan if necessary.
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