Like many aspects of life, conflict is shaped by our communication skills. Whether we are being proactive, intervening, or responding in a professional manner, most of us can benefit from refining our communication abilities.
The most frequent sources of conflict typically stem from communication issues, such as misunderstandings or insufficient communication between individuals or groups.
What we express may not always be what the other person perceives, as messages navigate a complex web of filters and external influences between the sender and the receiver. It’s essential to confirm that the recipient has understood the message we intended to convey.
- What is said
- Speaker’s Biases
- Body Language
- Tone of Voice
- Words
- Expressions
3. Listener’s Biases
- Past experiences
- Maps of reality
- Education
- Assumptions
- Emotional state
- Distractions
4. What is heard
Speaker’s Words
When you are speaking and want your message to be clearly understood, consider the following tips:
- Steer Clear of Absolutes: Avoid words like “always” and “never.”
- Skip the Word “But”: This word can undermine what you’ve just stated.
- Simplify Your Language: Using complex words or jargon can lead to misunderstandings.
- Avoid Negative Language: Words like “problem,” “can’t,” or “won’t” may convey a sense of unwillingness.
- Use Positive and Clear Language: Choose words that your listeners can easily grasp.
Speaker’s Facial Expressions
Here are some aspects that others may notice when you speak:
- Facial Expressions: Your facial expression conveys a significant non-verbal message. An angry or indifferent look can push people away.
- Negative Signals: Actions like rolling your eyes, frowning, or avoiding eye contact can send unfavourable messages.
- Cultural Sensitivity: In some cultures, making eye contact may be perceived as arrogant or aggressive. It’s important to be aware of your audience.
- Maintain a Positive Demeanour: Aim for a friendly, attentive, and relaxed expression while speaking.
Speaker’s Tone of Voice
Your tone of voice significantly impacts how others perceive your message. If you’re unsure about how your voice comes across, consider asking a trusted colleague or mentor for feedback.
- Negative Aspects of Tone: Common issues include a monotone delivery, speaking too loudly or softly, sounding sarcastic, displaying impatience, or speaking too quickly or slowly.
- Volume: Listeners prefer a voice that is loud enough to be heard without being painful to the ears.
- Sincerity and Interest: People want to hear a tone that conveys genuine engagement.
Other Body Language
- Initial Impressions: While facial expressions are often the first thing noticed, listeners also pay attention to subtler signs of impatience, such as glancing at a watch, shifting in their seats, shuffling papers, or crossing their arms.
- Crossed Arms: Although there can be various reasons for crossing arms, it is widely interpreted as a sign of disinterest, defensiveness, or opposition.
- Posture: Aim for a relaxed posture, leaning slightly toward the speaker to show engagement.
Good Communication Tips
- Clarity is Key: Since many conflicts arise from communication issues, it’s vital to ensure that messages are clear and understood by all parties.
- Watch for Barriers: Communication barriers can lead to misunderstandings.
- Consistency Matters: To convey a coherent message, your words and body language should align.
