Article

Persuading others or influencing other people’s behaviors requires carefully applied communication skills. In addition, most of us want to make sure that we are convincing someone (persuading) or exerting influence while avoiding any tendency to manipulate. We are surrounded by efforts of media and individuals who try to influence and persuade us to do, choose, or be something.

Manipulation is the dark side of persuasion that people rarely want to be accused of although in reality, it happens frequently. Manipulation is getting someone to do something or give you something that you want without regard to how they feel about it. 

To demonstrate the differences between manipulation and persuasion, let’s think about the teenager who wants a new bicycle. This teenager researches the attributes of the bike they want, and then approaches their parents to present a logical, reasonable case that explains why a particular bicycle is perfect. The teen is using persuasion as a way to elicit cooperation from their parents. 

On the other hand, a child who has a temper tantrum in the candy aisle at the supermarket is using manipulation. They will do anything to get what they want, regardless of how their parents feel about it, and without regard to how they appear to others. 

Persuasion is synonymous with convincing, and is the effort of convincing someone that something is or is not necessary. In contrast, manipulation can incorporate being unscrupulous to get what you want, regardless of how the manipulator is perceived afterward. Both persuasion and manipulation exert influence, although they use different tactics.

Influence is not the same as popularity. A company, or a concept, can be popular but have no influence over people whatsoever. Popularity (think of last year’s “new” band or music star) can be fleeting, but influence has staying power. If you think about the number of people who wear blue jeans most days of the week, this can be ascribed to the influence that the denim industry has had on society. Initially, denim was created as a sturdy work pant, and yet now we have people who wear denim in all kinds of settings, from business to labor. Although some types of denim are more popular than others (denim with stretch added to it, stonewashed denim, stand up denim, colored denim, and so on), denim has staying power. Some types of denim are popular and here for a season or two, whereas others are around for decades.

Look through the following statements. Indicate whether each statement is influence, persuasion, or manipulation.