Pushing and pulling are two distinct methods of applying influence, each with its own role in persuasion. People generally prefer to make their own choices and are more inclined to move toward what they feel drawn to, or “pulled” by. However, when used together, pushing can help individuals break away from their familiar habits and explore new options they are attracted to. Sometimes, people become stuck in their current positions, and facilitating a break—whether by changing their mindset, setting new goals, or acquiring new skills—can make them more receptive to being pulled in a specific direction.

Pushing is often associated with selling, while pulling aligns more with telling. In a business context, we could say that pushing is a tactic used by managers, whereas pulling is characteristic of effective leaders.

While pulling may be more challenging than pushing, it tends to yield more sustainable results. When you push someone, you may not know where they will end up, only that they are moving away from something. In contrast, pulling directs individuals toward a specific goal or desire. This approach involves creating a sense of desire in the other person, leveraging your understanding of what they want and how they make decisions.

To effectively push, you need some degree of influence over the individual to facilitate their shift. This influence often stems from trust or authority regarding their needs. Your level of authority must be sufficient for them to feel obligated to comply with your requests. For example, a supervisor exercises pushing when they direct employees on what to do, rather than allowing them the space to make their own choices.

Physical pushing can also play a role in the business environment. Security personnel, police, and military forces may use physical means to achieve their objectives, such as removing disruptive individuals. However, this approach can lead to significant negative publicity.

By learning to effectively combine pushing and pulling in your persuasive efforts, you can foster desire or emotional attachment while helping others move away from unproductive behaviours or outdated patterns.