Persuasion hinges on effective communication skills. We can achieve more of what we want and convey stronger messages when we express ourselves confidently. A manager or leader who appears indecisive lacks influence over their team, while a child throwing a temper tantrum often exudes confidence in their stance.

Confidence also hinges on credibility with your audience or employees. People are unlikely to listen to or be persuaded by someone they cannot trust. To establish trust, it’s essential to act in a trustworthy manner—this means following through on commitments and adhering to a clear ethical framework that your audience understands.

While not every conversation can be pre-planned, many benefit from careful preparation. When you take the time to prepare before initiating a discussion, you increase the likelihood of delivering an effective message that is clear and well-received.

Here are some steps you can take to prepare yourself:

1. Define Your Goals: Clearly identify what you want to achieve from the conversation.
2. Know Your Audience: Understand the perspectives, needs, and concerns of the person or group you will be speaking to.
3. Gather Relevant Information: Equip yourself with facts, examples, and data that support your message.
4. Anticipate Questions and Objections: Consider possible responses or counterarguments from your audience and prepare your replies.
5. Practice Your Delivery: Rehearse what you want to say to enhance your confidence and clarity.
6. Choose the Right Setting: Select an appropriate time and place for the conversation to ensure a conducive environment for dialogue.
7. Stay Open and Flexible: Be ready to adjust your approach based on the flow of the conversation and the reactions of your audience.

By following these steps, you can enhance your persuasive communication and foster more productive interactions.

Have a purpose.

Typical purposes for a conversation are to inform or direct, to persuade, or to ask a question.

Decide whether each statement below is to inform or direct, to persuade, or to ask a question.

Statement	Inform/Direct, Persuade, or Ask a Question?
“Fred, we’re expecting about 35% more people than usual with the sale today. Please start putting out extra shopping carts and baskets.”
“Joe, I think that we could be prepared for the sale tomorrow if we make sure that all the cash registers have extra supplies when we open.”
“Mike, is there anything else we need before the sale starts tomorrow?”

Have an outcome.

Ask yourself a few questions to help you decide how to approach the conversation:

• What reaction are you looking for from the listener?
• What do you need the listener to remember?
• What do you need the listener to do after your conversation?

Make sure the receiver is ready.

Some people resent it when we pounce on them unannounced. Others are much more receptive when you simply ask permission. If you are unsure if someone is ready to talk, try these helpful icebreakers:

• Is this a good time to talk?
• Can we talk about something I’ve been thinking about?
• Would now be a good time to talk, or should I come back later?
• Can I have 15 minutes of your time? (Make sure you stick to just 15 minutes!)

Apply positive intent.

Positive intent means recognizing that you have valid reasons for your actions and that others do as well. When we assume that people have negative intentions, it can foster a toxic environment, making collaboration difficult. To cultivate a more positive atmosphere, practice assuming positive intent in yourself and others. This involves avoiding negative assumptions and statements, steering clear of gossip, and focusing on future possibilities instead of past grievances.

Self-concept, self-image, and self-esteem significantly influence how we communicate and interpret messages. Individuals with low self-esteem and a negative self-image often adopt a passive communication style, while those who see themselves as superior may exhibit aggressive behaviour. These dynamics can lead to complex and challenging conversations!

Words to Watch Out For

If you want to be known for clear communication, avoid words like:

• I’ll try
• Ought to
• Should have
• Must
• Always
• Never

If you are tempted to insert these words into your conversations, replace them with clearer terms. Instead of “I’ll try to get back to you later,” say “I’ll call you back by 4:00 today” (and then make sure that you do!).

Your Inner Self Talk

Be mindful of the internal messages you convey to yourself. If you begin with a negative self-concept and low expectations, your external behaviour is likely to be non-assertive, leading to feelings of frustration or anger. By consciously replacing negative self-talk with positive, confident affirmations, you can cultivate greater self-confidence. While this approach is easier said than done, the results are well worth the effort!

This practice not only boosts your confidence but also helps establish credibility and trust with those you interact with, as your words and actions will align harmoniously.