The Impact of Self-Talk on Communication
Pay attention to the internal messages you convey to yourself. Starting with a negative self-image and low expectations can lead to non-assertive behaviour, often resulting in feelings of frustration or anger. By consciously replacing negative self-talk with positive, affirming statements, you can enhance your confidence. While this may sound simple, implementing it can be challenging—but the benefits are significant! Building a positive self-concept helps establish credibility and trust with others, as your words and actions will align more consistently.
Persuasion
Expecting the best and knowing when to stop talking are probably two of the most important elements of persuading others. If we cannot convince ourselves of something, it will be very difficult for us to persuade others.
Have you ever known another person who talked so much that other people stopped listening? These individuals overwhelm their listeners with conversation, until the listener becomes confused, bored, or both.
Mark Twain used to tell the following story that bears out that point:
“I was attending a meeting where a missionary had been invited to speak. I was deeply impressed. The preacher’s voice was beautiful. He told us about the sufferings of the natives and he pleaded for help with such moving simplicity that I mentally doubled the 50 cents I was about to put in the plate.
“He described the pitiful misery of these poor people and I raised the amount again. Then as he continued, I felt that all the cash I carried on me would be insufficient, so I decided to write a large check.
“Then he went on. That preacher went on and on about the dreadful state of these poor natives and I abandoned the idea of a check. And still he went on. And I got back to a dollar, and then 50 cents. And still he went on. And when the plate finally came round… I took 10 cents out of it!”
The lesson: Balance enthusiasm with control.
30 Ways to Persuade
- Learn to link and connect with individual clients.
- Demonstrate your expertise and knowledge.
- Think fair/fair, not win/lose.
- Be consistent and predictable.
- Make sure integrity is reflected in your standards, values, and behavior.
- Never assume they understand you.
- Never assume they believe you.
- Know when to be silent.
- Tell the truth.
- People believe exact numbers.
- Show you have nothing to gain.
- Flush out problems assertively.
- Clients believe written words over verbal words. (Think about how sales pitches over the phone might be more suspicious than ones in person.)
- Create an obligation for one or both parties.
- Proceed a bit at a time, from inconsequential points into major areas.
- Practice diffusion; show that you are out for the same things.
- Never corner clients. Leave them a way out.
- Give two options that are both acceptable to you, so that you win regardless of the choice. (Old sales trick!)
- Play with innocent questions such as, “Why would you want to do that?”
- Never accept an invitation to attack, since it creates a trust issue.
- Exude charisma and read the auras of individuals.
- Everyone is important and unique. Some literature says that you should treat all clients like they were an interesting guest on a TV talk show.
- Do not patronize.
- Give sincere compliments.
- Smile before you dial (or meeting someone in person).
- Be childlike: Open and transparent. Expand your center of interests to include others and explore the talents of others.
- Use humor if appropriate.
- Remember names.
- Remember: Difficult people do not play by the same rules.
- Practice strategic apologizing.
