Diversity expert Lenora Billings-Harris has developed a four-step technique that can be used when someone is behaving in an inappropriate manner. It is called STOP. Although it can be applied to almost any situation, she has designed it for dealing with diversity issues. It may be a useful tool to increase the level of diversity and disability awareness in your workplace.

S: State the inappropriate behavior objectively.

Tell the offender what needs to be changed in a specific, objective way. If you show your feelings, the offender will often respond with anger and denial, which will get both of you nowhere.

Example: “Bob, when you call my ideas retarded…”

T: Tell the offender how you feel when s/he performs this behavior.

This is where you can add your feelings or opinions, although feelings are usually best so that this does not become a debate. Make sure you stay as logical and unemotional as possible.

Example: “… it really hurts my feelings and makes me feel devalued.”

O: Give the offender options.

In addition to telling the person what you do not want them to do, offer several suggestions for what they can do.

Example: “I would prefer that you use a different word, like silly or illogical. It would be even better if you could simply ask me to explain my idea further.”

P: Positive results.

Let the offender know what the results will be if they change their behavior. Dale Carnegie states that in order to change behavior, the person must know WIIFM (what is in it for me?).

Example: “I really feel that this could improve our working relationship and our communication skills. I think our ads would be a lot more creative, too.”

Here are some tips for making STOP work for you.

• The first few times you use STOP, test it on a child when they act inappropriately.
• Plan out what you will say. This will help you identify your feelings, options, and possible results.
• When you talk to the offender, make sure you are in private.
• Do not expect miracles. If the person does not change their behavior, you can try the process again until it does work.
• If the behavior does not change and it interferes with work, bring it to your supervisor’s attention.
• If the behavior does change, show appreciation as soon as you can.