There are three instinctive reactions to negative responses: we might want to retaliate, concede, or withdraw from negotiations. Regardless of the choice, these responses often prevent us from achieving our goals.

Additionally, some tough tactics may arise during negotiations. Here are common challenges and how to address them:

Stonewalling

 This occurs when one party stops communicating, refusing to answer questions or engage in the discussion.

What can you do?

• Change your tactics or shift the topic.
• Continue with your points despite the silence.
• Address the stonewalling directly.

Attacking

 If the negotiation becomes personal and the other party resorts to attacks, consider these strategies:

• Request a timeout to defuse the situation.
• Ignore the attack and maintain your focus.
• Reframe their comments to remove the personal aspect. Most importantly, stay calm and centered.

 Dishonesty

If your counterpart attempts to deceive you, having your facts ready can help you identify dishonesty. You may need to pause negotiations to verify their claims.

  Choosing Your Response

Many challenging tactics can be managed by:

• Confronting the behavior.
• Asking clarifying questions to expose deception.
• Playing naive to see how they respond.
• Making a specific request.

Be mindful of your personal triggers; understanding them allows for better emotional control. Always keep your desired outcomes in mind.

Tips for Defusing Negative Emotions

 These strategies can be useful in any negotiation context:

• Use the other person’s name to foster connection.
• Allow them to express their feelings without interruption.
• Avoid red flag words like “but,” “always,” and “never.”
• Offer a small concession on something that matters to them but is less significant to you.
• Apologize for the situation rather than your actions. Acknowledge their perspective with statements like, “From your point of view, you’re absolutely right.” This may encourage them to consider your perspective.
• Emphasize areas of agreement rather than differences.
• Build their self-esteem with genuine praise.
• Prepare questions that will elicit a “yes” response.
• Ensure your words align with your body language; for example, don’t say “Take your time” while appearing impatient.
• Use more “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
• Remember that people need to feel valued before they will listen to your knowledge. Empathize with their situation.