As soon as the preliminaries are over, you can begin the negotiation. Take turns outlining your positions. If you’ve identified a zone of possible agreement (ZOPA) that gives a solution that you’re happy with, outline that as well.
Although this process looks simple in black and white, you may encounter challenges even at this stage, so you’ll need to be prepared for that.
Making Connections
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The other party appears to have made up their mind.
You’re perfectly within your right to say, “It seems to me that you’ve already made up your mind about this topic. Am I incorrect in feeling that way?” If you’ve established a ground rule to listen to each other’s point of view, remind them of that agreement.
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The other party is in a bad mood.
If your opponent is in a bad mood as soon as they walk in the door, and their mood doesn’t improve after establishing common ground and making small talk, you might want to suggest that you reschedule the meeting.
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The other party keeps interrupting you.
Make sure that you’re not the source of the problem and give him or her plenty of time to speak. Leave a few seconds of silence after they finish speaking, before you start. If they keep interrupting, however, politely say, “Okay, hold that thought, and let me give you my perspective so that we can see how we can merge the two,” and continue to make your point. Some negotiators interrupt as an attempt to gain control, so it’s important that you dig in your heels. Once again, if you’ve established ground rules, you can refer back to them.
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The other party becomes emotional.
Don’t let your opponent’s emotions affect you. Finish what you’re saying, and then call for a break. After the break, summarize your points and continue on. If your opponent continues their emotional display, suggest that you reschedule the meeting.
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The other party keeps using words you don’t understand.
Never pretend to understand something. If your opponent uses jargon, make a note of the term and ask them what it means when they’re done speaking. Note down the meaning, too, for future reference.
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The other party is using unfriendly words.
Most importantly, don’t let unkind words affect you. If you find yourself getting upset or angry, take a break to cool off and regain your composure. Then, say to them, “I know you’re a fair and reasonable person, and I know you want to reach a solution just as I do. I think we’re more likely to reach a solution that works for both of us if we treat each other with respect.”
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The other party’s body language appears unfriendly.
Body language is very subjective. Let’s say that your opponent keeps their arms crossed during your entire discussion. You feel that he’s being unfriendly and unreceptive to your statements. During a break, however, you notice a large soup stain on the front of his shirt! So, unless the other party is shaking their fist at you (in which case, see “The other party is using unfriendly words”), note their body language and respond accordingly, but don’t say anything to them.
