The core of negotiation involves the understanding that to obtain what we desire, we may need to make concessions. Negotiations can revolve around various aspects, such as price (where you provide more value in exchange for more money) or principles.
Argue Based on Principles, Not Positions
You may have heard the phrase about someone “digging their heels in,” which refers to being so focused on their position that they lose sight of the broader issue at hand.
In negotiations, aim to avoid defending a specific position, as this can lead to an attachment that makes you more obstinate. This defensiveness can hinder your commitment to addressing the actual problem.
Arguing Can Erode Relationships
Negotiation is fundamentally a conversation, and the goal is to facilitate discussions that lead to successful outcomes. Be cautious not to turn your negotiations into a battle of wills. Clearly articulate what you are willing to accept, and work collaboratively to resolve the issue rather than resorting to personal attacks.
The Softer Side
Some individuals, aware of the negative consequences of hard bargaining, may adopt a friendlier approach to soften the negotiation. They prioritize the relationship and aim for mutual agreement rather than solely pursuing their agenda. This represents a soft negotiation style, characterized by trust, concessions, and a desire to avoid conflict.
Principled Negotiation Is Effective
Rather than choosing between a hard or soft positional approach, consider employing principled negotiation. This method balances both styles and can be applied effectively in various situations through four key strategies as outlined in Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher and William Ury:
- People: Concentrate on the problem rather than the individuals involved.
- Interests: Focus on the interests of both parties instead of becoming entrenched in positions.
- Options: Explore a range of potential solutions rather than starting from a fixed endpoint.
- Standards: Ensure that outcomes are based on objective criteria rather than subjective opinions.
Focus on the Problem, Not the Individuals
It’s crucial to concentrate on behaviours rather than personal attributes. Instead of allowing anger to take over, clarify which behaviours need adjustment.
Negotiators Are Human
Negotiations involve people, and emotions, convictions, and differing perspectives play significant roles. Individuals can be unpredictable, especially when passions run high.
When tensions escalate, remember that your own emotions are also at play. Reflect on whether you are truly addressing the people involved or getting sidetracked by rigid positions.
